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The Frustration of mental health…

September 5, 2018

I need your help. 

I wanna tell you about an experience I’ve had. A year ago or so, I started getting therapy at work for my anxiety. A few things had gone wrong, a break up, a trip of a lifetime abruptly ending for reasons, and bullying at work.

Therapy was great and I was finally learning to love myself and learn why my brain thought a certain way and how I could help myself get out of negative thinking patterns. It went really well and I didn’t need it any more and then a few months later my old therapist retired.

A few months later, and the anxiety is rolling back,  moving out, new job, new car, just life in generall and I am back to being a stressful, ball of emotion, who can’t sit still or cries when she loses socks. I’m not super bad, but I can tell I’m not myself and im not feeling right ya know?? So anyway, over the last few months, I went to work to get a new therapist, had one session and she was the most patronising pain in the ass, who made me travel like an hour??? I can’t afford to do that every week and the thing with therapist’s are, you either work well or not at all. So I went to the doctors all like ” Hey, i’m sad give me help please” And they said, “hey call this phone line every time you have a panic attack and if not go to this charity.”

Well i’m sorry but no. I’m not phoning up some random person who I will have to explain myself to every single time I feel anxious or if I’m about to have a panic attack. Secondly, the charities were shit. They offered me drop in sessions but again, whats the point when each time I have to explain my entire life story all over again, when a therapist you can build a relationship with.

So my final call, I went online had a little snoop, and found 2gether NHS funded mental health clinic. Filled out a form online, they gave me a questionnaire to fill out, and I had a telephone assessment. FAB. However- this is the shit part. They were grand enough to offer me cognitive behaviour therapy BUT WITH A SIX MONTH WAITING LIST.

SIX MONTHS

G R E A T

So what am I supposed to do in the meantime. Books are great to read and all but they don’t tell me how I should be thinking.

I’m just super disappointed with the lack of funding the government are currently providing the NHS and for mental health and wellbeing. I know I may not be considered a high priority, but what about those who are and who are at risk of harming themselves.

It is frustrating that all you want is help and all you get is pushed away and I am stuck. I have put myself on the waiting list, but in the mean time I just have to “wait” to get better and I’m scared of my anxiety.

Anything you guys know about that can help me out in the mean time? I’m lost for words…

 

  • Reply
    andshedidblog
    September 5, 2018 at 7:39 pm

    It breaks my heart that mental illness isn’t taken as seriously as other ailments…the pain is still there regardless of whether it’s noticeable or not. If you don’t already do so, try and keep a journal. I’ve found it really helpful and cleansing to purge all of the bad stuff. Plus, it gives you new perspective months or years down the line.

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      September 6, 2018 at 9:48 am

      couldn’t agree more, that’s a really good idea actually i’ll have to have a look for one!

  • Reply
    butterflies and boundaries
    September 5, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    Everything you wrote is all so true and I can relate a lot to most of it. Beautifully written.
    I’d love so much if you could check out my post & let me know your thoughts 💛
    butterfliesandboundaries.wordpress.com/2018/09/04/the-aftermath/

  • Reply
    simplywendi
    September 6, 2018 at 2:30 am

    I am so very sorry, having to wait 6 months is just not right!

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      September 6, 2018 at 9:46 am

      I know its ridiculous! thanks for commenting!

      • Reply
        simplywendi
        September 8, 2018 at 5:58 am

        terrible………prayed for a miracle so you can get in earlier!

  • Reply
    abbyuppington
    September 6, 2018 at 8:28 am

    It seems like change might be your anxiety trigger – mine is feeling like I’ve lost control – so when I’m in a situation when I feel intense pressure, stress or threatened in anyway I will have a panic attack – most of the time I don’t put myself in those situations to avoid it but sometimes it is unavoidable. Maybe having change in all those aspects of your life was too much & has become overwhelming – you may just need to know for the future that you can’t change so much at once and you need to do it in steps & feel like you are more in control of your life, rather than it spiralling through change. You may find that when you settle into your home, your job etc. The anxiety calms down because you’ve gained back control and routine.
    Xxx

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      September 6, 2018 at 9:46 am

      Thank you for sharing your story with anxiety, that’s a good reasoning, it definitely is triggered by change so I hope you’re right in that it settles down, thanks for commenting xxxx

      • Reply
        abbyuppington
        September 6, 2018 at 10:06 am

        Welcome hun – always here if you need someone to talk to xx

  • Reply
    chloeburford
    September 9, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    Ohh hun, I relate to how you feel so much and think it’s so amazing that you have uploaded such an honest post. We’re so lucky to have free health services but the wait is so so awful. Hang in there girl, I believe in you! xx

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      September 10, 2018 at 10:27 am

      thanks for a lovely comment chlo, it is much appreciated!xx

  • Reply
    Amelia in Hull
    September 10, 2018 at 6:09 pm

    It’s so annoying that you have to wait 6 months!! We are lucky to have free services but it’s such a long wait xx

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      September 11, 2018 at 10:31 am

      yeah sometimes its just difficult to understand why they cant invest nore into NHS xxx

  • Reply
    goprogal
    September 17, 2018 at 9:55 am

    Ugh, I know what you mean. For me it was a month wait for the initial consultation but the sessions are few and far between. Currently I am waiting six weeks for my next session which is a huge cause for anxiety as we left off at a particularly difficult place. Another commenters suggestion of journaling is a great idea, it really helps me as well. When I was at my lowest anxiety I read a lot about non-attachment, letting go of the idea of ‘should be’ and the routine of comfort.
    Without being too airy fairy, we need change to grow and you will (hopefully) change through therapy. Does that scare you? For me, it doesn’t, maybe because I think it’s a good change compared to eg. a new job where ‘obviously’ I’ll fuck up and end up unemployed. And from there the list of ‘what ifs’ and change grows. Really challenge those thoughts when they arise, try your best not to catastrophise. I’ve started using Youper to track mood and factors, it’s really interesting. Hope things get better for you 🙂

  • Reply
    KirstieFrances
    September 17, 2018 at 10:30 am

    I have a very similar story to yours and I was looking into CBT with the nhs, but like you said 6 month waiting list?!
    I’m reading a book at the minute that could help, it’s called “First, we make the beast beautiful” by Sarah Wilson. She tells you so much information about anxiety and all the little steps she has done over the years to help control her anxiety. But what I love is that she shows you that you can effectively become friends with your anxiety and sort of twist it around to look at it all in a positive way.
    Great post though 😊

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      September 17, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      ooh okay I’ll have to check that out, I’m glad to hear its helping you 🙂 thanks for commenting! xxx

  • Reply
    Ritesh Pathak
    September 19, 2018 at 6:19 pm

    A truly inspiring article….for more related ideas kindly visit my blogs
    https://auntknow.com

  • Reply
    missmentalhealth
    October 2, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    It’s such a shame that this is the sad reality of services in the UK. I saw a great diagram showing that you’re either not mad enough, too mad or if you’re the right amount of mad you get added to a l o o n g list. In the mean time I’d focus on the small victories, relaxation techniques, mindfulness and avoiding avoidance!! Have you read up on graded exposure? Not to try solo I’d wait until you’re under the guidance of a professional but you could get an understanding of the theory in the mean time. Sending good vibes x

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      October 3, 2018 at 10:26 am

      thank you for commenting, thats basically it, if you are the right amount they will deal with you which is such a shame because it shouldn’t get to that level! thanks for a lovely comment! xx

  • Reply
    CelticWolfe
    October 3, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    Sadly mental health isn’t taken as seriously because you can’t put a plaster or bandage on it. And people generally can’t understand it as it’s a hidden illness.

    A group of people of all different ages and backgrounds can witness the same traumatic event, e.g. Westminster attacks, and have different symptoms for different periods of time. This differs even amongst siblings of similar ages.

    I’ve had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for 30yrs (I’m a ‘Troubles’ Victim / Survivor from Northern Ireland) and I’ve been fortunate enough to receive a lot of help, so I know those 6mth waiting times only too well. I’ve lived with this condition for so long that it’s a Mental Disability.

    Please find the strength to hang on. Talk on here if you need to where people can share their experiences and help you.

    Never give up

  • Reply
    CelticWolfe
    October 3, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    One of the things that has helped me when I can’t figure things out are Mind Maps. Helps draw out some of the connections you could be having within your mind.

    I’ve also found keeping a journal to be helpful because it’s a way to get your thoughts out and generally vent any frustration…and it doesn’t even have to be 100% accurate. It’s your own personal thoughts and could be for your eyes only.

    Please don’t lose hope and never give up no matter how hard life gets 🙂

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      October 4, 2018 at 8:36 am

      This is such a good idea i’ve never heard of something like this before! xx

      • Reply
        CelticWolfe
        October 4, 2018 at 9:43 am

        There is also some free software (Edraw Mind Map) that can help draw this stuff out and it’s easier to edit than using traditional pen and paper methods

  • Reply
    Alessia
    October 12, 2018 at 6:51 pm

    Thank you for your honesty. I am sorry that your journey was this troubled – having the courage to seek help is a big step (or at least it was for me), so to see yourself treated that way (thrown back and forth from a place to another) must have been frustrating. I hope you are coping well. Hang in there, it will all be alright xx

  • Reply
    mollysmentalbreakdown
    October 19, 2018 at 5:37 am

    i totally relate to having to tell your whole life story. i’ve been through dozens of therapists for different reasons and sometimes you can’t help but lose a little hope. that’s where i’m at right now, i hope you get to that place where you used to be again. <3

  • Reply
    Saguren
    October 28, 2018 at 5:50 pm

    You are in my thoughts. Have you been able to find good help yet?

  • Reply
    My new therapist – Hopeless Wonderer
    November 2, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    […] helps if you have read my post The Frustration of mental health… as this kinda explains my history with therapy and my mental […]

  • Reply
    jessicade
    November 5, 2018 at 7:05 pm

    I wish you good luck! 6 month wait is just outrageous! I like the other commenters notes about mind mapping and journaling. Meditation works for many (I have not been able to do that successfully, my mind races even faster then).
    To reduce stress: I found painting very calming – creating something with hands. As I did an exercise with not too much to do, but enough distraction (SUP, sailing, partner dancing).

    • Reply
      hopelesswonderer
      November 6, 2018 at 8:35 am

      that sounds really good, there have been some
      great ideas shared and painting sounds calming even if i’m not very good 😂

  • Reply
    howikilledbetty
    November 21, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Arghhhh! I’m so sorry, I’ve only just found your blog. I live in London, saw my GP and within a matter of roughly 3 weeks I was at my first group therapy CBT session. Now this was not something that I had really wanted because I had one-on-one therapy in mind. However …. it’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I’ve also had an initial assessment with a psychiatric nurse within about 2 weeks and have a further discussion on Friday with the psychiatrist so as to really get to the bottom of my issues. Well that’s all well and good I hear you say …! But what about ME?! What I’m trying to say, is that if you haven’t already seen someone, then hassle them. Big time. Get back to the GP again, and then again. In truth, when I went in to the GP, I was a shivering, crying wreck and just wanted to curl up on the floor and sleep there for a week so you see they probably didn’t have many options. They had to get me sorted out otherwise I’d might have started claiming squatter’s rights! I really hope you’re in a better place now and you’re well and truly on the mend. Grab everything they offer you and just keep on going back to them. You’ve got a follower in me and I’m sending you huuuuuge hugs. I do hope this helps a little. Katie xx

  • Reply
    Chris Hack
    November 24, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    I feel your pain. As someone who has been suffering for many years with my mental illness I can totally relate to everything you’ve said. Most GPs are happy to just dish out pills and send you on your way. I got through 3 doctors before finally finding one who takes my issues seriously. There’s no help on the NHS other than CBT which isn’t for everyone and if you want counselling then forget it.

    I have found Mind to be brilliant and also in moments of real crisis the Samaritans are also great.

  • Reply
    annesar
    November 26, 2018 at 11:39 pm

    I completely relate to how frustrating this is! My boyfriend just wrote an article on the waiting times in our local area, the statistics were shocking. In our area there’s 14,000 people who have been waiting 3 months or longer, mental health can escalate so much during those times. I’m lucky that the university I go to offers help with no waiting times.

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