I need your help.
I wanna tell you about an experience I’ve had. A year ago or so, I started getting therapy at work for my anxiety. A few things had gone wrong, a break up, a trip of a lifetime abruptly ending for reasons, and bullying at work.
Therapy was great and I was finally learning to love myself and learn why my brain thought a certain way and how I could help myself get out of negative thinking patterns. It went really well and I didn’t need it any more and then a few months later my old therapist retired.
A few months later, and the anxiety is rolling back, moving out, new job, new car, just life in generall and I am back to being a stressful, ball of emotion, who can’t sit still or cries when she loses socks. I’m not super bad, but I can tell I’m not myself and im not feeling right ya know?? So anyway, over the last few months, I went to work to get a new therapist, had one session and she was the most patronising pain in the ass, who made me travel like an hour??? I can’t afford to do that every week and the thing with therapist’s are, you either work well or not at all. So I went to the doctors all like ” Hey, i’m sad give me help please” And they said, “hey call this phone line every time you have a panic attack and if not go to this charity.”
Well i’m sorry but no. I’m not phoning up some random person who I will have to explain myself to every single time I feel anxious or if I’m about to have a panic attack. Secondly, the charities were shit. They offered me drop in sessions but again, whats the point when each time I have to explain my entire life story all over again, when a therapist you can build a relationship with.
So my final call, I went online had a little snoop, and found 2gether NHS funded mental health clinic. Filled out a form online, they gave me a questionnaire to fill out, and I had a telephone assessment. FAB. However- this is the shit part. They were grand enough to offer me cognitive behaviour therapy BUT WITH A SIX MONTH WAITING LIST.
G R E A T
So what am I supposed to do in the meantime. Books are great to read and all but they don’t tell me how I should be thinking.
I’m just super disappointed with the lack of funding the government are currently providing the NHS and for mental health and wellbeing. I know I may not be considered a high priority, but what about those who are and who are at risk of harming themselves.
It is frustrating that all you want is help and all you get is pushed away and I am stuck. I have put myself on the waiting list, but in the mean time I just have to “wait” to get better and I’m scared of my anxiety.
Anything you guys know about that can help me out in the mean time? I’m lost for words…